How Birtley House can cater for couples with different needs.
One of the greatest joys of life at Birtley House is meeting the wonderful residents who call Birtley home. In this issue, Caroline Whalley interviews one of our residents, Bernadette, and her husband, Ray, on Bernadette’s move to Birtley House Nursing Home.
Bernadette has been a resident (and an asset) at Birtley House for over a year now and is a wonderful example to everyone that life does not need to come to a halt when living in a Nursing Home. Bernadette’s positive attitude to life has enabled her to adjust amazingly well to her new home at Birtley. She told me that “being at Birtley is like being on holiday!” We all observed immediately that here was a lady who cares for other people and takes an interest in both residents and staff so that she endeared herself to us all very early on, and it certainly was no surprise to learn that Bernadette had chosen nursing as her career.
How long have you been married and where did you meet?
We have been married for over 50 years having met in Nassau in the Bahamas where we were both working at the time and where I had gone, unable to face another Canadian winter. I was a nurse in the hospital and Ray was working in a Bank, as he had a wonderful opportunity to work in a sunny environment! So, there we were, both in our 20s and enjoying life in the sun! Following a very bad car accident when Ray was hospitalised, our friendship blossomed, and we were married. Then came a change of government and we returned to the UK – I always remember it was on Valentine’s Day.
Have you always been local?
No – when we came back from the Bahamas, we lived in Chelmsford, Essex. However, we never felt completely “at home” so when some friends of ours from our Nassau days, invited us to see them in Guildford, we were immediately sure that this was where we wanted to live. During the past 50 years we have lived in4 different houses.
How did you hear about Birtley House?
One of our daughters-in-laws suggested we came to look around having done some research, and I had worked for a short time as a nurse at Birtley in the early 70s. Ray didn’t realise that Birtley was a Nursing Home even though he had driven past it many a time.
What made you choose Birtley House?
Ray said, “We realised that the time had come for Bernadette to be somewhere safe as her health was such that she was having a few falls which was concerning for me if I was out. So, we came to look around Birtley with the intention of a short respite stay. My first impression as we drove up the drive was of surprise that this was not a typical Nursing Home! When Frank Whalley showed us a couple of available rooms, Bernadette chose (much to my surprise) the smaller one but the one with the fabulous view of the lake, woodland, and garden. The trial period very quickly became a permanent one, with Bernadette adjusting to her new “home” much more easily than I have adjusted to her not being at home with me. I am amazed at this, but I put the smooth transition down to her positive attitude, ability to make new friends easily and the fact that she is not prevented from still leading a full social and happy life.”
How often do you visit Bernadette?
Lots! I also enjoy taking Bernadette out regularly to the places that we’ve always visited: Wisley and Kew Gardens and National Trust properties. We go to concerts in Guildford, and I accompany her to various medical appointments. I take her to sessions of “Parkinsong” which she finds fun and beneficial to attend.
What are the benefits of this arrangement?
Having me in a safe environment takes the pressure off Ray as I had a couple of falls at home which was worrying for him, especially as he has several interests he likes to pursue.
What have you enjoyed most whilst at Birtley House?
Sitting out in the sunshine in the beautiful gardens! I am a sun-lover! Also, I enjoy the company of the other residents and staff.
What are your hobbies, and can you still do these at Birtley House?
I enjoy reading, music, jigsaws, taking photographs, and playing Bridge. I have a wonderful group of friends who come regularly to play Bridge with me here in the Orangery overlooking the Rose Garden. If we are short of a player, there are a couple of residents here who are more than happy to make up a foursome. If the weather is good, my visitors and I might just sit in the gardens and enjoy the view, whilst catching up with our news. In the past my favourite activity was walking in the area with friends and sometimes I would walk up to 15 miles in a day!
Ray commented that he feels he has been “very spoilt” having Bernadette as his wife who was always such a good cook, and now he has to prepare his own meals. It seems that one of their granddaughters is taking after her as Bernadette has shown us photographs of the delicious looking feasts that are produced by this youngster.
From an observer’s point of view, Bernadette is always busy – when in her room she can be found working on a jigsaw puzzle, usually 1000 pieces; listening to music, reading or sending emails or texts to her friends. She orders items and researches on-line with no difficulty using her iPhone and Ray told me that he received an Airfryer for Christmas, secretly organised by Bernadette! Being a very sociable lady, there are always visitors coming to see her at Birtley or take her out. Although there are some activities that she can no longer manage, there are far more that she does continue to enjoy and as she says, “you are never too old for a whole new experience”.
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